Immune

I pat myself on the back for the great accomplishment, a personal milestone, something to be remembered for years to come, something that will go down in my autobiography if I ever decide to publish one. 

I have finally developed the anti-body.

I have to admit that I did not expect it at all. Just about a few months ago, my reaction to it has been so adverse, that I ended up being all stressed up. However, a few days ago, the same problem cropped up, but it did not affect me at all. Other than the usual “pain in the neck” for two days, I have become virtually immune now.

I am glad. No more days thinking about what have gone wrong, or what have I done wrong.

This is the new old me. Highly insensitive, almost immune to the bullshits that people give me.

*smirk*

Herbet’s Passing Wind

I feel like laughing, no more like sniggering. Talk about a pot calling the snow black. Yes, you heard (or rather read) me right – a pot calling the snow black (as opposed to calling a kettle black). Just when I thought I will never find anyone more shallow than George W. Bush, there it is, right in front of me. Shall we name that person “Herbet”, in dedication of Bush Jr’s father, George H. Bush.

It has come to the extent where the words spoken by the Herbet becomes more than a passing wind. It stinks, but I will not affect me, except for that first few seconds. 

Herbet needs to understand that one needs to know what one is talking about before giving advice. Herbet also needs to know that one needs to take off their “coloured glasses” (direct translation from Cantonese) before one passes a judgement. Herbet should look in the mirror before opening one’s mouth.

Herbet can rest assured that I am surrounded by good people – people I truly respect, who can tell me exactly where I need to improve, without being condescending, patronizing and shallow; people who are objective, and provide constructive criticisms, not callous judgement.

Meanwhile, Herbet can continue in the “you are either with us or against us” (to quote Bush Jr.) mantra that you have been holding on so tightly all these while. You’re just passing wind.

I Don’t Exist

In a desperate attempt to kill my boredom and to feed my narcissism, I did an “ego search” on my blogging moniker, “chiewee”. It turns out that “chiewee” means “one who does not exist” according to Urban Dictionary.

Wow….I’ve made it into dictionary, alongside “google” and “facebook”.

The Ritual

Two guys and a girl..

When watching Manchester United matches..

One has to support the other team although he is a United Fan..

One is forbidden from wearing United shirt when watching the matches..

They must watch in threes, never in pair, at the same place

EVERYTIME…

and Manchester United always WIN

….I was talking about me, my ex-housemate, Giri and our neighbour/classmate/squasy buddy, Steven. We stopped doing that since Giri and I moved out of Abadi Indah.

No wonder they kept losing and drawing…sigh..

8 Signs of Ageing

1. You woke up so early in the morning, had a light breakfast, work till the noon, and then started to feel sleepy.

2. You forgot what you have said, or heard from a friend over a telephone conversation the day before, and you have no idea what she was talking about when she reminded you of that.

3. You forgot to send three important e mail messages, and make one important phone call.

4. A ten minutes walk to the nearest bus stop seems like eternity.

5. On your day off, you prefer to stay home and laze around, rather than hang out and party.

6. You get easily irritated, and will start picking on the slightest thing, and grumble.

7. All of sudden, you prefer Bee Gees than Nickelback.

8. The words, “When did I say that?” became a daily staple.

Gosh. I feel old. And i need a PDA badly.

Law students hit with nervous breakdown

KUALA LUMPUR: A group of law students have been admitted to Hospital Bahagia Tanjung Rambutan under supervision after being diagnosed with Post-exam Traumatic Stress Disorder (PETSD) and Pre-result Nervous Stress Disorder (PRNSD). It was reported that these students have been showing symptoms of the illnesses immediately after completing their respective final law papers. The symptoms include insomnia, and obessisive-compulsive disorder culminated by the repetitive question of “when’s the results coming out?” and statements such as “I think I screw up my Public Law”  

According to Professor Wayne Morrison, the Director of the hospital, the patients’ conditions were possibly triggered by the several false alarms that have been given on the probable release date for the results. He also noted that lack of confidence, and extreme worry on the probability of referrels and failures as the reason for manifestation of the conditions.

The students were admitted to the hospital on the advice of the hospital’s specialist as they may pose threat to the general public. Those suffering from PETSD and PRNSD are prone to biting someone’s head off, easily irritable and will develop tendencies to write meaningless and absurd blog posts.

Unfortunately, the cure for the conditions have not been found yet. However, experts have speculated that the hospital may have the right cure, but they are waiting for the right time to release it, possibly sometime next week.

Meanwhile, doctors have advised the public to admit anyone suspected of the conditions immediately to Hospital Bahagia, where they would receive a treatment called Pre-result Movie Marathon to help them cope with PETSD and PRNSD.

The Story of a Misanthrope

The world is a theatre and your life is the play

The play is scripted in such a cynical way

There were times when you thought you have lost the plot

As you tried to comprehend the complexity of this knot

 

Judas, Brutus and Cassius rule the Earth

It’s unfortunate but you’re surrounded with such filth

Where is the truth and who do you trust?

You view the society with full of disgust

 

Little wonder why you live in recluse

You wish that one day you will meet Zeus

And ask him why he made the world such

It has been overwhelming, a little bit too much

 

You tried to understand the rules of the game

Join them to beat them, that was your aim

You became a pretender, someone you despise

Now you are sick of your own disguise

 

It is time to return to where you belong

Where you’ll regain your sense of right and wrong

Now wish upon the stars with one single hope

That one day, you’ll stop being a misanthrope

~

Dedicated to all pretenders and misanthropes

chiewee

Another Three More Ways to Irritate Chiew Ee

11. Ask Hotlink to send her more and more spam messages.

12. Tell her to work on Saturday nights (especially in July and August) so that she cannot attend any Rotaract Club’s Installation.

13. Be selfish, inconsiderate and extremely kiasu. Fullstop.

Ten Top Ways to Irritate Chiew Ee

1. Practice seletive hearing when she is talking to you.

2. Blast some techno songs whenever she’s around.

3. Speak English with American/British/Australian/or any other alien accent.

4. Wake her up before her alarm clock rings (even one minute before that is sufficient)

5. Be a Chelsea fan.

6. Deprive her of her internet privileges.

7. Ask her why she’s still single.

8. Go to the place she’s working now (Body Glove Mid Valley), and make a mess out of the folded tops and bottoms there and then walk out without buying anything.

9. Be a loudmouth; boast about yourself; and stroke your own ego in an extreme manner.

10. Be late when you have an appointment with her.

Pre-Exam Post

A trivia for you:

Do you know that there is close to 273 important Criminal Law case laws and principals in English Law?

And do you know that you would only need an average of 10 cases per question when you are answering your Criminal Law paper?

Which makes it 10 x 4 (for answering four questions), meaning that an average of 40 case laws will be used, which simply means (without taking into account statutes): IT TAKES LESS THAN 20% OF YOUR WHOLE CRIMINAL LAW KNOWLEDGE TO DETERMINE YOUR FINAL SCORE.

Isn’t that comforting? Blame it on the British education system.

In essence then, whether you pass or fail; and get a second class lower or upper score; 80% of it is generally dependant on the following:

1. Your wits in playing with your words.

2. Your luck in getting an examiner that agrees with your train of thought (remember, you only have one chance of justifying yourself).

3. The mood of your examner (I was told that we should count ourself lucky if they are not drunk when marking our papers).

4. Plain good ol’ hardwork. Can’t argue with that.

5. Your mental and physical condition on the day of the exam.

6. The fact that your handwriting should be legible.

7. And other reasons unbeknownst to us. This is from some of the seniors: they claim to have aced Criminal Law in mocks only to have faltered in their finals without knowing where they have gone wrong.

Yup. Can’t wait to “vomit” out my Criminal Law tomorrow. Wish me luck!