Today, someone I barely know did me a huge favour for my Rotaract Club’s upcoming charter celebration and installation. Indeed, lately, I have been receiveing a lot of kind deeds from various people, and the most amazing thing is that these people do not expect anything back in favour of their help. It troubles me a lot that they do not expect aything in return, because I am the kind of person who will not rest well if I owe anyone a favour.

So how do you repay the kindness of people who do not want anything in return? This brings me to this very interesting concept called, “pay it forward”, inspired by the book “Pay It Forward” written by Catherine Ryan Hyde, which was subsequently adapted in the 2000 movie starring Kevin Spacey and Haley Joel Osment.

For every favour I received, instead of repaying the deed, I am encouraged to pay it forward to another three people. That three people, meanwhile would each has to pay the deeds I have given them forward to another three people and it goes on.

I must admit, in today’s materialistic world, this is not a practice that everyone will be willing accept. But a quick Google search revealed that this concept has a huge following, and they even have an official website for the Pay It Forward Movement.

It’s amazing how this concept can touch the life of so many people. I guess sometimes, life is not all about making profit out of everything. Perhaps those whom I am indebted too are all, sub-conciously, members of this Pay it Forward movement. These people have indeed inspired me to do the same thing, to help others without asking for something back.

Being the usual part-time idealistic person, I shall initiate the Pay It Forward spirit around me. So my friends, the next time I do you a favour, please do pay it forward. Let’s make this world a better place to live in!

I have been working with an injured ankle for close to three weeks. My job requires me to stand for eight hours everyday. I realised that I have been able to do it not because of any physical superiority, but the will inside me.

There is a Malay proverb; hendak seribu daya, tak hendak seribu dalih. It means that if you intend to do something, you will have the will, and if you do not intend to do something, you will find excuses not to do it. The closest proverb in English I can find is when there is a will there is a way.

Lance Armstrong, after winning a battle against a life-threatening cancer, won Tour de France for record-breaking seven times. In the 1999 Champions League Final, Manchester United scored two goals in stoppage time to beat Bayern Munich 2-1. In 2005, Liverpool came back from 3 goals down in the first half to beat AC Milan in the same competition. Some attributed these achievements to pure luck, but I think that luck plays no part if there is no will in the first place.

I would say however, the relationship between will and excuses is ironically connected yet contradictory. To have a will, you have to have an excuse; to have an excuse, you must have no will. It simply means that if you want to have a will to do something, you must have a reason to do it (in other words, an excuse); but if you are seeking excuses not to do something, you must have not have any will to do it in the first place. 

We often find excuses when we cannot (or more precisely, do not want to) do something; I am too busy; I have no time; I am occupied by more important things; I don’t have the capability to do it.. and the list goes on.

But it all comes from your heart and head. If you have set your heart and mind to do something, and you are dedicated to it, you will beat the odds and achieve something that many would have thought to be unachievable.

The will to make changes, go further, climb higher and dive deeper; it is all that separates the failures and successes. Only when you can find the will to do such things that that you’ll find the strength to do simple, yet extraordinary things.

Stop giving excuses; start trying and try hard. If a toddler can survive under piles of earthquake debris for more than one week, I am sure all of us is capable of doing such extraordinary things. Even if you eventually fail, at least you know that you have tried. Sometimes, it is not reaching the ultimate destination that is important, but the journey itself and if you have tried your best during that journey, you will live your life without regret.

Everyone seeks validation. Even I do.

I ponder upon this as I was speaking to a friend today about doing what’s right, and what’s fair. I realise that sometimes, when I make decisions, especially when it involves something personal, I tend to seek out for people to validate my actions and decisions.

It turns out, that the root of the problem lies in there; that I always tried to make everyone satisfied and happy and my believe, a wrongful believe was that if everyone’s satisfied, it will be a good decision. But it is just not possible. You can’t make everyone happy.

As I wonder what I should do, and what shall be the best solution to the problem that I have now, it occurs to me that the the guide to my solution has always been here beside me; the four way test:

1. Is it the truth?
2. Is it fair to all concerned?
3. Will it build goodwill and better friendship?
4. Will it be beneficial to all concerned?

This test was introduced by former Rotary International President, Herbet J. Taylor as a guide to ethical practice in all the things we said, think or do. In all our actions, we should ask ourselves the four questions above and if the answers are of the affirmitive, we shall go on with the solution. Of course, we may dispute, in a modern and materialistic world that we live in today, it would be impossible for us to strictly follow the test. But I believe that this is of your own will, as no external force can make you disapply the four way test, but yourself.

What comes first for us? Humanity or materialism? I admit it, I would sometimes be swayed to materialism. This, I would say is the result of lack of “spiritualism”. Of course, when I talk about spiritualism, I do not mean religion, as I believe even free-thinkers can be more humane than religious people in many instances. By spiritualism, I meant compassion, forgiveness, selflessness, tolerance and humility. It is what shape our humanity and I believe these four-way test can be the guide to our spiritualism. Without spiritualism, there would be no humanity, and without humanity, we are just some lost souls.

And I call for all of you to at least try this four way test at some point of your life. I happen to chance upon a blog about the four way test, and I would like to share it with all of you, my readers. It is something really inspirational. You may think of it as naive, but I think the blog can provides us with so much optimism that we all badly need. Have a peek at it! http://thefourwaytest.wordpress.com/