For the first time in years, I lost my temper in public last night.

I was doing my laundry after back from work. The apartment I am staying at has two coin-operated public washing machines. The problem is, the machines occasionaly break down, but I have never faced such problem until last night.

Under normal circumstances when faced with such situation, a reasonable person would have just use the other machines or do their laundry on another day but I was not that reasonable person last night. Not when you are out of 50 cents coins, and not when you are running out of clothes to wear. The thing is, the machine broke down only after I have put my laundry, coins and washing soap in. The next thing I know, the words “I need service” flashd across the machine’s display screen and its annoying alarm started buzzing.

Fine, so I went and ask the management/security for help, and they brushed me off, asking me to call the number displayed on the machine. I have been very irritared with the number of unhelpful people I have came across over the last couple of days, and with the sum of all anger I have bottled up in the last few weeks, that must have been the last straw.

So I exploded. I flashed a sarcastic smile, let out a cynical laugh, made my way back to the machine, and uttered the f*** work a few times out loud. After releasing my anger by swearing at the machine, I finally did what a reasonable person would have and should have done at the first place: to call the number displayed on the screen…problem solved.

So, I did overreacted. I should have been ashamed of myself. What happened last night reminded me of the Chiew Ee five years ago. A teenager that was full of anger and antsy. I think my parents had their hands full in tolerating my bad temper then.

Over the years, I have learned to manage my temper. It was not easy, but positive thinking has helped me in nurturing such positive attitude. Learning to forgive and forget, thinking twice about things, letting go, and moving ahead: it has all been part of the process that allow me to be more in control of my temper now.

What happened last night was a step back for me. I have decided to blog about this so that I will always be reminded of this mistake, and I hope that it will at least help me regain that one step that I have lost last night.