The Will inside You

I have been working with an injured ankle for close to three weeks. My job requires me to stand for eight hours everyday. I realised that I have been able to do it not because of any physical superiority, but the will inside me.

There is a Malay proverb; hendak seribu daya, tak hendak seribu dalih. It means that if you intend to do something, you will have the will, and if you do not intend to do something, you will find excuses not to do it. The closest proverb in English I can find is when there is a will there is a way.

Lance Armstrong, after winning a battle against a life-threatening cancer, won Tour de France for record-breaking seven times. In the 1999 Champions League Final, Manchester United scored two goals in stoppage time to beat Bayern Munich 2-1. In 2005, Liverpool came back from 3 goals down in the first half to beat AC Milan in the same competition. Some attributed these achievements to pure luck, but I think that luck plays no part if there is no will in the first place.

I would say however, the relationship between will and excuses is ironically connected yet contradictory. To have a will, you have to have an excuse; to have an excuse, you must have no will. It simply means that if you want to have a will to do something, you must have a reason to do it (in other words, an excuse); but if you are seeking excuses not to do something, you must have not have any will to do it in the first place. 

We often find excuses when we cannot (or more precisely, do not want to) do something; I am too busy; I have no time; I am occupied by more important things; I don’t have the capability to do it.. and the list goes on.

But it all comes from your heart and head. If you have set your heart and mind to do something, and you are dedicated to it, you will beat the odds and achieve something that many would have thought to be unachievable.

The will to make changes, go further, climb higher and dive deeper; it is all that separates the failures and successes. Only when you can find the will to do such things that that you’ll find the strength to do simple, yet extraordinary things.

Stop giving excuses; start trying and try hard. If a toddler can survive under piles of earthquake debris for more than one week, I am sure all of us is capable of doing such extraordinary things. Even if you eventually fail, at least you know that you have tried. Sometimes, it is not reaching the ultimate destination that is important, but the journey itself and if you have tried your best during that journey, you will live your life without regret.

Good Leader; Good Friend

How do you balance between personal matters and work? How do you tell someone who are working with you that they are not doing enough without offending them? How do you make them understand that you respect them, but you need their co-operation. How do you make them understand that you do not mean to be blunt, but some things are better said now than left unsaid.

A good leader will be able to do such. I am however, still learning how to be a good leader. 

A good leader will tell you where you went wrong and lead you back to the right track. A good friend will do the same thing too. I guess there isn’t much different between a good leader and a good friend after all. A good leader, however will try to make you understand the urgent situation of the organisation that needs your attention, whereas a good friend will try to understand your situation. A good leader follows her brain; but a good friend follows her heart. 

How do you become a good leader, and a good friend at the same time? I find myself having a split personality at times. At one time, I want to be a good friend, but at another time, I will be strictly business-like.

They say, do not mix business and friendships, but it is only through friendships that an organisation can work in sync. It is through friendships that teamwork is formed.

I am trying hard to understand, and I will try to understand why some people do the things they do. I have no rights to judge them. As a friend, I am to accept them – warts and all. But as a leader, I know that what I have done is vindicated.  

It’s nothing personal, it’s just business.

Hell Hath No Fury

For the first time in years, I lost my temper in public last night.

I was doing my laundry after back from work. The apartment I am staying at has two coin-operated public washing machines. The problem is, the machines occasionaly break down, but I have never faced such problem until last night.

Under normal circumstances when faced with such situation, a reasonable person would have just use the other machines or do their laundry on another day but I was not that reasonable person last night. Not when you are out of 50 cents coins, and not when you are running out of clothes to wear. The thing is, the machine broke down only after I have put my laundry, coins and washing soap in. The next thing I know, the words “I need service” flashd across the machine’s display screen and its annoying alarm started buzzing.

Fine, so I went and ask the management/security for help, and they brushed me off, asking me to call the number displayed on the machine. I have been very irritared with the number of unhelpful people I have came across over the last couple of days, and with the sum of all anger I have bottled up in the last few weeks, that must have been the last straw.

So I exploded. I flashed a sarcastic smile, let out a cynical laugh, made my way back to the machine, and uttered the f*** work a few times out loud. After releasing my anger by swearing at the machine, I finally did what a reasonable person would have and should have done at the first place: to call the number displayed on the screen…problem solved.

So, I did overreacted. I should have been ashamed of myself. What happened last night reminded me of the Chiew Ee five years ago. A teenager that was full of anger and antsy. I think my parents had their hands full in tolerating my bad temper then.

Over the years, I have learned to manage my temper. It was not easy, but positive thinking has helped me in nurturing such positive attitude. Learning to forgive and forget, thinking twice about things, letting go, and moving ahead: it has all been part of the process that allow me to be more in control of my temper now.

What happened last night was a step back for me. I have decided to blog about this so that I will always be reminded of this mistake, and I hope that it will at least help me regain that one step that I have lost last night.

Another Three More Ways to Irritate Chiew Ee

11. Ask Hotlink to send her more and more spam messages.

12. Tell her to work on Saturday nights (especially in July and August) so that she cannot attend any Rotaract Club’s Installation.

13. Be selfish, inconsiderate and extremely kiasu. Fullstop.

Ten Top Ways to Irritate Chiew Ee

1. Practice seletive hearing when she is talking to you.

2. Blast some techno songs whenever she’s around.

3. Speak English with American/British/Australian/or any other alien accent.

4. Wake her up before her alarm clock rings (even one minute before that is sufficient)

5. Be a Chelsea fan.

6. Deprive her of her internet privileges.

7. Ask her why she’s still single.

8. Go to the place she’s working now (Body Glove Mid Valley), and make a mess out of the folded tops and bottoms there and then walk out without buying anything.

9. Be a loudmouth; boast about yourself; and stroke your own ego in an extreme manner.

10. Be late when you have an appointment with her.

Oh Life!

When will people stop judging me? Perhaps when I stop judging them.
When will people start to be honest and frank with me? Perhaps when I stop being too honest and frank.
When will I be able to satisfy everyone? Perhaps when I stop seeking satisfaction from people.
When will I not be lonely? Perhaps when I realise that I have never been alone.
When will all my problems go away? Perhaps when I learn to let go.
When can people start trusting me? Perhaps when I learn to trust them.
When will everything be perfect? Perhaps when I stop seeking for perfection.
When will my life be complete? Perhaps when I have accepted that life is always indeed incomplete.
Oh life! 
Why is life so tough? Perhaps we made it so.
Why are people so irresponsible at times? Perhaps I am being too responsible.
Why are people so sensitive? Perhaps I was being insensitive.
Why do we need people? Perhaps they need us too.
Why do I feel that I have not done enough? Perhaps because I am only human.
Why do I find it hard in expressing myself? Perhaps that is why I have My Three Dimensions
O all the whens and whys. That’s life.

Someone please stop this train for me

No I’m not color blind
I know the world is black and white,
Try to keep an open mind but,
I just can’t sleep on this tonight,
Stop this train I want to get off and go home again,
I can’t take the speed it’s moving in,
I know I can’t,
But honestly will someone stop this train,

John Mayer, Stop This Train